On Blame


When I was younger, I use to always blame my older sister for EVERYTHING. and I mean everything. And most of the time I got away with my little schemes. Kelly tried to convince my parents to get rid of me, leave me in restaurants or at the movies. (One time I was actually left by a family at the movies but not my fam… hahah) My parents would just laugh and tell Kelly “But she’s your younger sister, she doesn’t know any better” (Thanks for keeping me mom and dad.)

When I got older and entered grade school I realized my “blaming others” tactics didn’t work so well in the classroom. I got in trouble too often, never detention but lots of timeout during recess. At some point between kindergarten and my first job I learned that blaming others destroyed my effectiveness as a leader. When I got my first job as a camp counselor I took notice of these same blaming maneuvers kids would try to use on me to get their way. I would explain to them “Blaming others isn’t going to get you anywhere, so tell me the truth in what happened” I guess it’s all a learning process and takes time to understand. Like everything in life.

Let’s dig a little deeper.

I read this book once called Monday Morning Mentoring by Davis Cottrell

It’s about a young man who is having trouble with managing his company and reconnects with an older and much wiser family friend, who ultimately turns the young entrepreneurs business around in a positive way.

So are you a young individual trying to create your own business one day? Do you want to be a leader not a follower? Do you want to be successful?

Here’s what I learned from the book in my own terms:

  • There’s always going to be something or someone to blame in life (the weather is horrible today, there was a wreck on the highway, my sister called and we caught up)

  • Leaders don’t blame others, they spend time fixing their problems, obvi you’re not God and can’t change the weather or prevent an accident but you can leave early…

  • BLAME focuses exclusively on the past (it causes fear, discomfort and strong dislike) Accept responsibility NOW, focus on the future and MOVE FORWARD.

  • All your choices should lead you toward the success you are trying to achieve.

  • You can only depend on yourself… when you depend on others, you are trying to match their perceptions from yours, which are always going to be different. Don’t depend on others, you will be disappointed…

  • And, if you want to be extraordinary in life, then stop being so… ordinary.


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